Grateful

This is not how I wanted to tell most of you, in fact I wish I had time to call, email, and let some of you know personally. I know this will be painful for some of you and I only wish I knew how to make it easier. I'm pregnant. Now before you get excited for me, or cry, or whatever the emotion, know that this baby is off to a rocky start. I only found out yesterday and ended up spending 3 hours in the ER. I have been bleeding for four days. And I had a normal period this month. The doctors are concerned that it might be an ectopic pregnancy( where the baby is outside of the uterus). My hormone levels are low, and they can't do an ultrasound so we are kind of playing the waiting game. I will be spending some time today and tomorrow and probably a few days next week at the woman's health here on base. They need to do some more blood work and tests. My levels were 700 yesterday and if they are any lower today than that is not a good sign. If they are higher that's good but I won't be out of the woods for several more weeks. I am RH- (and since that is too complicated to explain the link has info) and so today I am getting a shot that may or may not help. The doctors were all very nice but not very optimistic. We never even got to rejoice or be excited about this baby. As our little tadpole struggles to have a life, we are feeling like our hearts are breaking.
To all you woman out there who have been through this, I am sorry. It is a crushing, heart wrenching feeling. I can never know exactly how it feels for you, but for me, it's devestaing . If you feel you can, prayers would be appriecated. Whatever the outcome we will try to have peace and remember to be grateful for what we have. We have been so blessed. I am so grateful for these boys in my life. My loving Husband and beautiful boys.